Hey app developers, need some inspiration for your next app update? I have just the thing!
Let’s try something different this time. I give you 10+ easy ways to get 1-star reviews at the App Store!
Reverse psychology and stuff!
Please note, this post includes sarcasm. Obviously.
#1: Crash your app at startup
The classic. Make an awesome app update and make it crash shortly after the app start.
Bonus points: Take your time with the fix.
#2: Add ads to your ad-free app
Users love ads! Trust me! Why not give them the joy to see them in your app? Works great if you have a lot of users and the app has been ad-free since day one.
Bonus points: Don’t give an option to remove the ads!
Extra bonus points: Interstitials!
#3: Make a new app out of existing functionality
Swarm. Facebook Messenger. While it might make sense in some cases, user don’t like this at all. Change is bad! Don’t change things! Ever!
#4: Make a paid update in exchange for awesome content
Paid in-app purchase with super cool extra content in a paid app. The horror! What, you want even MORE money for your app that you spend countless hours creating? Shame on you!
#5: Get acquired by Facebook
No guarantees with this one, but in the case of Moves, it definitely worked.
#6: Forced login that hasn’t been there before
Your app is doing well, but you want to step it up a notch. Add a forced login at app startup as an awesome way to collect user data!
Bonus points: Make it a forced Facebook login! (Users love that)
#7: Make your app suck
Plain and simple. Problem: you actually need downloads to get people to send 1-star reviews your way. Solution: Be a big brand and make a sucky app!
Bonus points: Never update it again!
#8: Add a ton of ads
The user opened your game? Interstitial! The user tapped Play? Interstitial! User died in the game? Interstitial! You get the drill…
#9: Promise the world
Promise them a spaceship and give them a paper plane. With Bluetooth! Just don’t make it work at all and you will be fine.
#10: Take loved features away
Users like your app? Time to mess with some features and make them “better”. A lot better. Or different. Oh yes, different is good. Or remove them completely.
#11: Let your web service crash when it’s needed
Your app needs web access to load content? Peak times don’t interest you? Ok, you are good to go! To 1-star hell that is…
#12: Ask for reviews a lot
First app load? Ask for a review! 10 seconds latter and still in use? Wow! Let’s ask for a reviiiiieeewwwww! Eventually you will get one
You have even more awesome 1-star review ideas? Great! Let me know in the comments or on Twitter.